For me, there exists no love. And thus, any effort for others on me feels like a futile attempt to make me believe there is tender, love and concern.

That's what you'd say if you noticed you screwed up today's schedule and potentially also the next half a year. Well, it isn't a job interview, but if I can't handle this, it's just going to get worse. Reality is harsher than we thought. At least, that's what I thought.